Sunday, February 14, 2010

Rumours about me

I've lived in this city for nearly 18 years and during that time there have been continual rumours about me. Not malicious rumours, just rumours. I don't understand the motive behind the gossip. There never seems to be any attempt to ruin my reputation with serious dirt, but the rumours have continued over the years and I'm still puzzled as to who may be the source of the disinformation.

The stories all seem to fall into the category of harmless inaccuracy.
People will come up to me and attempt to engage me in conversation and then drop some words along the lines of: 'Well, I know you're into heavy metal', or 'Well, I know you like Chelsea soccer team (or Liverpool, or Exeter, or Manchester, or Arsenal, or Spurs, etc. The versions vary). Sometimes the person will attribute to me some political philosophy such as 'Well, I know you're an anarchist' or 'Well, I know you're a pacifist' or 'Well, I know you're a communist' or 'Well, I know you're a christian' etc. etc. Sometimes the false information concerns a personal habit or the lack of one, such as 'I know you smoke' or 'I know you like Stella Artois' or 'I know you're a big coffee drinker' etc. (All wrong wrong wrong).

Now, for the record, I'm not a christian, or a pacifist, or a communist, or an anarchist. I don't drink alcohol, I don't smoke, I don't take drugs. I can't drink coffee (allergy). I have never had the slightest interest in sport of any description and I certainly don't support this, that or the other soccer team or cricket team or whatever. I don't wear baseball caps (I was once told 'I thought you usually wore a baseball cap' when, in reality, I despise that particular form of headgear with an extreme and malevolent passion).

I could go on and on about this, but you get the idea. I've never driven a car in my entire life but people insist on telling me which brand of car they assumed I would usually drive, and so on and so forth.

I imagine there's either, sitting in a room somewhere, a very sad little old person who has nothing better to do than make up false information about me and then phone everybody in town to spread the fake facts, or else there's a shady government department which builds dossiers on everyone but gets the facts all wrong (at least in my particular folder).

I don't know what the real story is and where all these rumours are started from. As I say, they don't seem to be malicious, just inaccurate.

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